Buddha really enjoys attention. She likes people talking to her and playing with her and just attention in general. She’s always been that way, so when the idea of adding a sibling to the mix was being tossed around, naturally that was something to think about. How will she adjust? Will she be jealous? Will she want to smother the baby when I’m not looking?
She was thrilled at the idea of having a baby to love on, which was a good sign. However the idea of a baby and an actual baby are COMPLETELY different things. It’s not uncommon for a two and a half year old to be excited about a baby brother or sister and then reality setting in when the baby actually arrives and there being some negativity there. Honestly it was to be expected, especially from a child who prefers all eyes on her.
I officially (finally) got married this past weekend. 5.13.2017. There were seventeen people there including the my children, the dear photographer, and my stepfather who doubled as the officiant. I had lovingly referred to the event as my “non-wedding” or “fake wedding” during the weeks leading up to it, because quite frankly it was not the event that I would have expected myself to have before Tyler and I got together. Hell it wasn’t even the wedding I had in mind when we got engaged.
I had visions of a gorgeous lace dress, simple centerpieces, bouquets, seats. I had an entire Pinterest board dedicated to this hypothetical wedding. We even discussed potential officiants. I really wanted Ellen DeGeneres or Drew Carey. For some reason I had an obsession with a celebrity officiant in all of my wedding daydreams, along with little baby’s breath details and mismatched bridesmaids dresses. Had I chosen to go that route, trust me it would have been a STUNNING wedding.
Something I will always see as a good investment is photography. Back in the days when Tyler and I first got engaged and I was thinking I would have an actual wedding, I knew that my biggest splurge would be the photographer. Now if it were up to Tyler I would just hand someone my iPhone and get my pictures for everything that way, however I couldn’t see things more differently.
I hit the jackpot with Tyler. There is not a thing that he as a husband should do in my eyes that he doesn’t do. Without even being asked. He’s super dad and super husband, and I’ll tell that to anyone who will listen, but I’m not going to bore you all with the details of why my husband is great.
Lately I have seen a lot of viral blog posts talking about how women shouldn’t praise their husbands or their children’s fathers for helping with the kids or around the house, because it’s “their job.” A few posts have even suggested that what they’re doing can’t even be considered “helping,” because it’s what they should be doing.
And these posts have a point, yes fathers should be helping with the children and doing their share of alllll the things that come along with being a parent. Diapers and feedings and potty training and nap time and bed time and getting them dressed and reading to them and fixing their juice and all the things that kids need for an adult to do for them. I’m not saying that this point is wrong by any means, I agree with it completely actually. Raising a child should be a job for two people. But to me, saying a child’s father doesn’t deserve praise or being thanked for being a good dad is bull. For several reasons.
Books are our absolute favorite things. Santa brings books, the Easter Bunny brings books, we get and give books for birthdays. We love to read. Buddha gets EXCITED over new books too, this may be the thing about her that I’m most proud of.
I usually let her choose the book that we read at bedtime, and there are periods of time that she’ll choose the same book every night for two weeks, and others that she wants to read three different books each night. And it’s so hard to say no when your three year old asks to read just one more story. So on average we read two books a day. That’s a lot of books.
Some of my personal favorite books to read with her are the silly ones that make her laugh. I love seeing the smile on her face during the funny parts, or hearing a little giggle. As all moms know, not all days are good. But all’s well that ends well so if I can end a day snuggled in bed laughing with Buddha over a book, I’m going to.
I’m going to be honest here, until recently skincare was at the bottom of my priority list. I was doing good to take my makeup off with a makeup wipe before bed, and possibly wash my face with a Clean n Clear face wash while in the shower. I did not own a moisturizer. Let’s put it this way, I wasn’t out in public barefaced too often.
Because why would I even need to worry about my skin? I’m young, not worried about wrinkles. My skin wasn’t AWFUL, I wasn’t a total pizza face. And as I’ve mentioned before, I’m lazy.
Amazon is a gift from the online shopping gods. You can find just about ANYTHING on Amazon. Vitamins? Sure. Pillows? You bet. Clothing? They gotcha covered. I’m a HUGE fan. They even offer this magical service called Amazon Prime? You’ve heard of it? Probably because it’s fabulous. Free two day shipping? I’ve said it once but I’ll say it again, a gift from the online shopping gods.
So we’ve covered that you can find anything you could want or need, and a million things you don’t want or need. We’ve covered the two day shipping. Need another reason to go ahead and save your debit card (or apply for an Amazon Credit Card, that’s a thing)? A lot of times, whatever you’re about to buy or need to buy, is cheaper on Amazon.
I am not a minimalist. I buy a lot of things. I love it. I love buying food at restaurants. I love buying candles. I love buying cleaning supplies. I love buying makeup. Oh DEAR I love buying makeup. I love buying clothes for my kids. I love buying toys for my kids. I love buying all things. Things I want. Things I need. Things that are on sale that I don’t need but could possibly want at some point.
I don’t even necessarily love buying expensive things. I can go to the Dollar Tree and enjoy myself just as much as if I were buying a new car. Okay, not that much, but still. I don’t need something to be expensive to enjoy buying it. In fact, if I’m getting a good deal I enjoy it even more.
One day at work, I made the comment that I was dreading going home and doing the dishes. I knew I’d left the sink full when I left the house, and dishes are probably my least favorite household chore. “Isn’t your fiancé home today?” My coworker asked.
“Yes?” I answered, a little confused.
“Well why doesn’t he wash them?”
I thought about this for a second. “Because that’s not his responsibility.”
My sweet tiny innocent baby Bee Butt is part demon. She is needy and spoiled and requires infinite attention. The moment you disengage she is a fusspot, then you make eye contact again and she’s all smiles. She gets this need for constant interaction from her father.
As much as I love being needed by my littlest girl, I also have to do things like laundry and dishes and I also have to eat to survive. These, as well as the vast majority of my other daily responsibilities as a mother and domestic goddess, are near impossible to do while maintaining eye contact with a baby. And while a lot of people can tune out the fussing knowing that every actual need of their child has been met and she just wants someone looking at her, I CAN’T STAND the sound of a fussing baby. So what do I do?
I was intrigued when Tyler told me Bee Butt enjoyed cartoons. Really? Buddha never got that into cartoons. Hell she still prefers live action movies to animated. A baby watching cartoons was a whole new world for me but I was into it, so I tried it out. It was a miracle! Bee Butt was mesmerized and borderline thrilled with the colors and sounds and music on the TV, and I had a free babysitter while I wiped down the counters or dusted the furniture or ate. Even Buddha got in on the action, parking her toddler sized armchair in front of the TV next to her sister’s Mamaroo. Two babies entertained by one TV show? Jackpot.